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- S.P.(U.T.U.)M. Shames Spammer into a Rage
- by Mark Frauenfelder, WIRED News
-
- 5:00am??25.Mar.97.PST Mike Enlow claims he was simply running a test when
- his marketing company spammed the alt.binaries newsgroups of Usenet on 6
- January. The self-proclaimed "world's most-respected information
- broker/technology marketing consultant" says he thought the alt.binaries
- groups would be a good place to try out his advertisement, because "they
- were getting spammed to hell anyway."
-
- But Enlow's "Too Cool......-hotstuff.jpg" file - which
- included a picture of a fully-clothed Enlow leaning against a shiny new
- Mercedes and a caption advertising Enlow's business Web site - started a
- Usenet war that is raging still.
-
- The members of alt.binaries.slack - dedicated to posting
- religious artwork themed around the Church of the SubGenius - saw Enlow's
- spam as an opportunity to have some fun and teach the man a lesson,
- SubGenius style. The Rev. Funway Plastico, for example, downloaded
- photographs from Enlow's Web site and altered them in a variety of ways,
- re-posting them to the newsgroup. Some of the images merged Enlow's face
- with Bozo the Clown, some embedded his head into containers of Spam, some
- pasted Enlow's face into pornographic images. Funway then emailed Enlow a
- note that read, in part, "You might want to check alt.binaries.slack to
- see what we think of you and your phony get rich quick scam."
-
- Enlow was furious. "These jerks attacked me like I was a
- $5 pyramid scheme," he says. "They have attacked a patriot of America."
- He posted a message to alt.binaries.slack that read, in part, "I have a
- network of investigators who just live to fuck up people who get too cute
- with me," signing his the post "Michael E. Enlow, Pres. National Assoc.
- of Investigative Technologists." (Enlow says that he now regrets "lashing
- out in anger and fury," adding, "I would never send someone out to create
- bodily harm.")
-
- Shortly after the threat was posted, S.P.(U.T.U.)M. -
- alt.binaries.slack's very own Net-abuse response team (the acronym stands
- for SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit [Mobile]) - sprang into
- action, said Dennis McClain-Furmanski, the public-relations contact for
- S.P.(U.T.U.)M. The unit emailed Enlow, warning him that he "violated and
- [is] continuing to violate the rules of the Usenet by posting commercial,
- non-Slackful, non-"Bob"-related binaries in our newsgroup," and urging
- him to "quit while you are *behind*."
-
- A movement to police one's own newsgroup is on the rise,
- says McClain-Furmanski. "There is the alt.gothic special forces and there
- is WASP, the Warez Anti-Spam Patrol." He won't divulge how many members
- of S.P.(U.T.U.)M. there are, but says, "Two of us have military training
- in psyops (psychological operations) and intelligence work. There are six
- regulars on alt.binaries.slack and many occasional posters, and it is
- about as spam-free as you'll find on any binaries group."
-
- But Enlow doesn't buy the claim that S.P.(U.T.U.)M. exists
- to rid the newsgroup of Net-abuse. He says S.P.(U.T.U.)M. and the
- alt.binaries.slack group are terrorists slandering him and defaming him
- with doctored images, which contain captions such as "OK, OK, So maybe
- I'm a PINK weasel posturing in front of a car I could never afford. I was
- born with a clitoris instead of a brain." Enlow says such statements are
- slanderous: "I paid cash for the last seven Mercedes I've owned." He also
- says that he has forwarded the altered images and postings to the "FBI
- and senators," and is gathering evidence to create a law suit.
-
- Stacey Son of Internet Servers Inc., the ISP for the
- S.P.(U.T.U.)M. Web site, says Enlow recently contacted his company to
- complain about the images. However, since Enlow did not produce an
- injunction or court order, the ISP did not intervene.
-
- McClain-Furmanski argues that the altered Enlow images and
- text are parody, and therefore protected by the Constitution. He also
- claims that no one in S.P.(U.T.U.)M., or alt.binaries.slack has done
- anything illegal against Enlow. "The artists of alt.binaries.slack are
- not members of S.P.(U.T.U.)M., they are the group that we protect," he
- says, adding that "S.P.(U.T.U.)M. is not the same as the Church of the
- SubGenius."
-
- At one point during this escalating battle of threats and
- flames, Enlow called McClain-Furmanski on the phone, demanding that
- McClain-Furmanski remove the images immediately or he would spend upward
- of $1 million dollars in a lawsuit to force his group to comply.
- McClain-Furmanski says he replied to Enlow that for each month Enlow
- refrained from posting spam to Usenet, one of the four Web sites
- currently publishing the altered images would come down. "He didn't much
- care for the resolution," says McClain-Furmanski, "but it has been a week
- since he has spammed. In another three weeks, a site will come down."
-
- Enlow, however, says the real battle hasn't even started.
- He would like to see the Church of the SubGenius get prosecuted under the
- RICO laws, as he believes that the church members are organized criminals
- engaged in illegal terrorist activities against him. Seeing himself as a
- law-abiding businessman who is up against a nest of filthy miscreants
- with abhorrent values, he asks, "Am I witty enough to make world history?
- Am I crazy enough? Hell, yes."
-